strive to be selfless..

I've been learning that we need to strive to be more selfless in our marriages.  We need to learn to be more of a servant.  We live in a ME society and it’s so easy to get caught up in selfishness..  It’s all about me, isn’t it?  Nope.  Let’s look at our ultimate example – Jesus.
"Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped,  but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.  Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross."  -Phillipians 2:5-8
Jesus didn't think about himself.  As I think about all the things Jesus did, I don't remember Him ever saying "I can't heal the sick man because I have to watch the latest big event" or "I can't help because I'm to busy working around my house". I could go on.  So how do we apply this to our marriage?!
We need to strive to be a servant and be less selfish.  Let's investigate with these two scenarios.

My husband is preparing to leave for his third hunting trip of the year tomorrow. He has some cattle that need shots before he leaves.  He has to finish a report for a meeting that will be held while he is gone.  Plus all his normal routine – job, farm work, etc.

Selfish response: I ignore the large pile of laundry including his hunting clothing.  My son asks when Daddy is going to home to play and I make some not so nice remark about Daddy never being around.  My daughter won’t eat her supper that evening.  I start running things through my head like “I feel like I’m a single mom”, “why can’t I have a normal husband who comes home at supper time and spends time with his family” and I could list even more things.  He calls and needs a few things at the store so I agree to go to the store.  My son complains he doesn’t want to the go to the store and again I bad mouth my husband.   The entire 30 minute drive I fight tears of anger towards my husband thinking only about myself and how my life is so terrible.  When I get home the sliding door gets stuck.  I get angry at my husband because this is an ongoing problem and he fixes things for a living and I can’t even have a door that works because he’s too busy doing everything for everyone else.  My husband finishes up and gets in around 9:30pm hoping to spend time with me before he leaves.  Instead, I give him the cold shoulder and crawl into bed feeling hurt and alone.

Selfless response:  I take a deep breath and pray that God helps me to be less selfish and have a good attitude.  I see the large pile of laundry and I think how it would be a big help if I had that clothing clean for him.  My son asks when Daddy is going to be home to play and I say he has a lot to do so I suggest we make cards for him thanking him for all his hard work and maybe even make a good luck card for hunting.  My daughter won't eat her supper that evening.  I take a deep breath and ask God for patience with her.  My husband calls and needs a few things at the store so I agree to go to the store.  My son complains he doesn't want to go to the store but I say that we are helping Daddy out and we are going to pick out some yummy snacks for him.  At the store I let the kids pick out some extra snacks for him to take on the hunting trip.  When I get home the sliding door gets stuck.  I take a deep breath and decide to try to laugh about the silly door (and I pray that my husband soon gets time to fix it).  My husband finishes up and gets in around 9:30pm.  I spend time talking to him, maybe even helping him get all his stuff together.

Ok, so that's a small example of selfishness and selflessness.

MY CHALLENGE TO MYSELF AND YOU:  I challenge us, as we strive to better our marriage, to remember Jesus and how he sacrificed himself for us.  Jesus wasn't always loved but He still loved the people.  Jesus wasn't always appreciated but He still gave food to the hungry.  Jesus wasn't always understood but He still keep going in His ministry.  Jesus gave His life for people that spit on Him daily.  Jesus gave His life for people who ignore Him weekly.  Jesus gave His life for people who fail to acknowlege Him.  Yet He still loves them and still wants a relationship with them.  So if Jesus can do that, then I challenge you..  We can strive to give up ourselves and serve our husbands (even when we don't feel loved, cared for, etc).

Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.  Philippians 2:5-8 The Message