Sunday, January 5, 2014

my husband is a gift from God

my thoughts from the Wife after God Bible study book by Jennifer Smith and online Bible study I'm currently doing...  Day 4 - Your spouse is a gift

Lets look in Genesis....
 "Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper [o]suitable for him.”  Genesis 2:18
So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place.  The Lord God [t]fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. Genesis 2:21-22

God gave Adam a gift - He created Eve and gave her to Adam.  In the same way, God has given you your spouse.  "It is important to see your husband and yourself as gifts to each other everyday you have together, for that will influence how you treat each other" (from Wife after God)  Hmmm, lets think about this...  I'm sure we all just received some gifts for Christmas.  Think of the most expensive gift.  How did/do you treat it?  Do you value it?  Are you spending time with it?  Did you tell anyone about it?  Now, think about your spouse and answer those questions.

"The marriage relationship is also a magnificent gift in that you and your husband have the opportunity to bless others." (Wife after God)   It's your own little team working for God.  What can we do as a couple or family to give gifts to others?  I think this is one thing I really want and need to pray about.  My husband has an amazing servant heart.  He serves as a trustee at our church - fixing things, plowing snow, etc.  He serves on our local fire company and is the treasurer.  He is always willing to help out with service type things with in the church and our community (I can list some many things he does).  He's always willing to offer help to our friends and neighbors.  Honestly, I could go on and on.  I know that individuals at the school I teach at could list things that I work tirelessly at for our athletic program.  BUT I've really been yearning to find some way for us to give "gifts" together.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

starting off the year by doing Wife after God - an online Bible study...

I am currently reading the devotional Wife after God by Jennifer Smith.  She is doing an online 30 day Bible study focusing on the book.  Each day has a focus verse, a short devotional, a challenge, a prayer and journal questions.  Check it out!  www.wifeaftergod.com and on facebook Wife after God - Online bible study.  You can watch her back comments on YouTube.
Obviously, I think it would be great if you joined in and picked up the book.  I'm not going to post everything on here but I'm gonna post what I'm feeling and maybe some of the journal questions.

Jan. 1 - God's purpose for your marriage.  Honestly, I've been reading another book and studying it in my Sunday school class.  I've posted about it.  Day one in Wife after God made me think of it. It's Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas.  His statement/question is "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than make us happy?.  I've come to believe this is true.  It's also somewhat soothing.  Yeah, I know that sounds weird.  But honestly it's given me something to cling to thru the rough.  Yes, I hope somethings in my marriage get better but currently I can let the hard times make me more like Christ.  It honestly can give you purpose in a not so wonderful time in marriage.  When I feel unloved, I can strive to love, respect and serve my husband anyway.  Jesus does it.  He loves me when I ignore him.
So the challenge was to talk to your husband and discuss with him about the purpose of marriage.  My husband is away til Sunday so I didn't do this and honestly with our time schedule we currently don't discuss much of anything so I kinda got frustrated.  I get frustrated with all the marriage studies that involve both spouses.  What if your spouse isn't interested in being involved in it?  But Day 2 made me like the study again :)
Jan. 2 - Marriage by Design.  This discussed Love and Respect.  Husbands love your wives, Wives respect your husbands.  Check out Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.  Although honestly, I think the book is repetitive and have found a lot of marriage material to be.  SERIOUSLY, I think we get the fact that Husbands should love their wives and wives should respect their husbands.  I guess I'm always looking for the answer to "what do I do and how do I handle it if I don't feel loved? or respected?"....   But it's right in front of us in the Bible - Ephesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives and Ephesians 5:33 - and let the wife see that she respects her husband.  It doesn't say, wives respect your husband when you are loved by them.  It's called unconditional respect.  I fail at it.  The questions for today were hard...   One of them... In what ways does your husband show you love?  I sat here.  I thought.  I got frustrated because I didn't think of anything.  Then I thought I am terrible, I know my husband loves me, I need to think.  Here is what I came up with - 1. He sat down with me after the kids were in bed two times in the last few weeks and watch a movie. 2. He pays the bills. 3. He puts wood on the fire so I can have a nice warm house.  4. He glued my rear view mirror back on my jeep window.   5. I thought a few more things and then I was like Servant hood.  He serves.
  I know I could name so many things that I've thought he should do in the last month instead of spend his days hunting but I need to look at what he does do.  Hmmm, mayb that is something I need to do weekly.
This question also got me thinking... If he was asked "in what ways does your wife show you respect?....    yeah, I'm thinking it would be hard for him...   I need to ask forgiveness for not showing him respect - my body language has disrespect all over it... and I need to do this...
my plan: 1. acknowledge him when he is running out the door .  2. thank him often for what he does.  3. praise him/words of affirmation (even if i'm kinda annoyed) 4. hug him (one of his love languages is physical touch and mine is far from it) 5. serve him.
Those 5 things I need to do even when I feel unloved....

So I don't kno how well this is written but it's my feelings and thoughts...