sometimes I question God.. am I doing the right thing?

a story from Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas....
A campus pastor named Brady Bobbink decided to take Scripture's admonitions about love seriously.  Brady married relatively late in life.  He had become well known as a speaker....was in high demand with plenty of opportunities to "serve God" thru his gift of teaching.  When Brady asked Shirley to become his wife, life changed dramatically.  Shirley had 2 children from a previous marriage, and it wasn't long before Shirley and Brady began to pray about having a child of their own.
"What would it mean for me to love my wife in this situation?" Brady asked himself.  In prayer, Brady made a pledge.  If Shirley had another baby, for the first year he wouldn't accept any outside speaking engagements other than the ones his current position required him to take.  Shirley became pregnant and gave birth to Micah....
Months later, Brady received a lucrative opportunity to speak in Singapore...  the change to go to the Far East was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity...
He excitedly told Shirley about this great opportunity, then remembered  his pledge midway thru his convo, and said out loud, "I can't go."
Shirley tried to release Brady from his pledge.  "Honey, I'll be fine"..
He kept his pledge and didn't go.

What's this got to do with my questioning God, "Am I doing the right thing?"  Well, some days I feel like if I can't serve and love my husband the way God asks me to, then how can pouring my life and service into others be what God wants?   Would ministry be so much easier if my spouse was involved?   How can I learn to love my spouse more?  How can I let him be involved in my life more and me in his?  How can I serve him above and beyond doing his laundry?    Wow I have so many questions running thru my head of what God requires of me....
So yeah, I still ask.. "Am I doing the right thing by serving God outside my home?"    

pleasing God thru marriage

I love this paragraph...

What most divorces mean is that at least one party, and possibly both, have ceased to put the gospel first in their lives.  They no longer live by Paul's guiding principle, "I make it my goal to please Him," because the Bible is clear in its teaching.  God says, "I hate divorce" (Malachi 2:16).  If the goal of the couple was to please God, they wouldn't seek a divorce.      

and this ...

Strong christian marriages will still be struck by lightning - sexual temptation, communication problems, frustrations, unrealized expectations- but if the marriages are heavily watered with an unwavering commitment to please God above everything else, the conditions won't b ripe for a devastating fire to follow the lightning strike.

sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

During the frustrating, lonely times in my marriage I remind myself that God wants me to please Him.  I can seek to serve God in my marriage even if my husband isn't.  Give up on my husband when he's not trying to please The Lord?  I think not, God never gives up on me!  Give up on my husband when he's been gone for a week, then comes home and has no time for me?  I think not, God never leaves when I don't have time for Him.  There is no room for divorce in even your thoughts.  Never ever.  God didn't divorce me when I rejected Him, when I never talked to Him...   He's there always.

   I'll be there always to.  Waiting and praying for my husband to come along beside me and seek Jesus with me.. to seek holiness not only happiness...   yeah, I'll be the example Jesus asks and requires of me...  to b like Him and let Him shine thru me to  those around...   what a perfect way to let my kids see Jesus...  to love their Daddy just like Jesus loves us...

God requires much in our everyday lives... I'm praying that I can give and please Him in this aspect of my life.. it isn't easy.. it's a daily surrender but it is a step to being more like Jesus.....

to be more like Jesus...

I bought this book Sacred Marriage a few years back.  I started to read it but stopped because I didn't really like it and thought it was somewhat crazy.  So I go to SS class on Sunday and find out we are doing a workbook based on this book.  Weird thing: Now it makes sense to me and I think I totally agree.  The book is Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas.  The topic is "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?"

Today's fav quote "If you want to be free to serve Jesus, there's no question - stay single. Marriage takes a lot of time.  But if you want to become more like Jesus, I can't imagine any better thing to do than to get married.  Being married forces you to face some character issues you'd never have to face otherwise."

So true.  So hard.  Dying to self.  Giving up my dreams.   Living his dreams.  That has been a daily struggle and it is hard and my husband loves me......    but Jesus did it for us - a people who spit on Him, reject Him, deny Him....    

sometimes I wish I would have taken option 1 - single and serving Jesus...  my heart aches for the world, for the lost...   but then I realize I'd never understand His sacrifice the way I do now...    

so interested in learning more...  praying that Mark and I can learn and connect and become more holy thru our marriage... and find out what He really has for us...

really, one of my fav songs played at my wedding says it all...

Father in Heaven 

Lord may your name be glorified

above all others, above all this world

above everything else in our lives

for nothing else in all of this world matters

but to live our lives for Your and You alone

May your wonders never cease

may your spirit never leave

may we ever long to see your face

and when we turn from you again

oh how quickly we forget

may we be reminded of your grace

May Your Wonders Never Cease

-Third Day

stay because God demands forever

sometimes I come to a point where I stay only because God demands forever...   with God all things are possible... its really Satan making it hard, so I kick Him in the butt and keep on keeping on... it's not my husband I'm living for, it's God!   just sayin'...