Tuesday, August 13, 2013

are we happy plastic people?!?

 I've posted some lyrics and the reason I think the song has been running thru my head....  (i may have to find it and play it - i haven't actually listened to it in a long time)

Is there anyone that fails?
Is there anyone that falls?
Am I the only one in church today
Feelin' so small?

'Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away
Like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it
Maybe I'll believe it, too

So with a painted grin
I play the part again
So everyone will see me
The way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain

But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

-Casting Crowns

this is how I feel in this place...   everyone so close just living a "comfortable" life wondering why my heart aches for so much more...   
it's been so hard praying that God would help me be content living my husband's dream...
 but I've realized that I need to be into God's word more here..  I'm praying that God would help me be more bold and share what I've been thru and what He's done in my life to the teens I work with at JMS..  I kno that God can use me to make a difference in lives around here...   I need to be bold and challenge my friends to get real with Jesus too...  

I'll never understand the aching and yearning I have for the Alaskan people and there precious but lost kids... but it brings me to Jesus everyday... I ask to be filled with the Holy Spirit, I give the desire to God and I pray for strength to serve Him here...   I pray that I can support my husband 100%, that I can help him and encourage him to grow in Christ and that this place we live will feel like "where we are supposed to be" to me...